Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Adult Day

I did a lot of adult crap today.  I got the house ready for new people to see it around 2:00 PM.  They were really nice, and hopefully they really liked the house.  Then I left quickly before the 5:00 PM appointment to get my oil changed and picked up my prescriptions.  When I walked into Sam's Club they handed me a flyer that said they were doing flu shots until 5:00 PM that day, and no other day.  So I decided that I should follow Dr. Hitler's advise and get a flu shot.  I really can't be sick like I was at the beginning of the year again, I just can't seem to bounce back quickly enough.

I hurried home and about 20 minutes before they were supposed to show up they canceled.  Figures.  At least I got all my adult crap out of the way.  It's funny, when I was a kid I thought about how cool it would be to be in charge of my life like this.  I went to get an oil change because it needed to be done, talked to the mechanic about what needed to be replaced for next time.  I got a flu shot despite the fact that I'm still not fond of needles.  I did it because it was the adult thing to do.  Of course, I also felt like I really deserved a milk shake afterwards for doing it and not being a big whiner.

But I didn't get one, because I'm an adult.  Being an adult is not as much fun as it was in my head when I was a kid.

Monday, September 29, 2014

The Maze Runner

Since dropping the price we had a person come visit today to see the house.  The actual buyer is out of the country so they were skyping with her, and I think they were speaking Korean.  It was a little awkward, but they were very nice.  I'm not sure they were really interested in the house.

Hubby wanted to get out of the house since we'd been waiting for them to show up for most of the day.  We went to see The Maze Runner, and I have to say I'm about done with Dystopian crap.  It's all a trap within a trap within a trap and I'm really just about finished.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Indiana Jones and the Boulder

Work is not really getting any better, and they just keep rolling out new programs that it is almost too much to keep up with.  It really feels like I'm Indie, trying to get out of the way of the boulder before it crushes me.  I've got to find another job and leave this one behind soon.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Blog Cleaning Day

I brought my laptop to work today to clean up this blog a little.  Posting to the app only works sometimes, and it doesn't let me post date if I happen to post it after midnight.  I am still blogging everyday, it's just not making it onto the blog.

The realtor texted us today to ask about dropping the price of the house to $199 so people looking at the 200 and under will see it.  We agreed, and I've never just talked about thousands of dollars lost like that before.  It feels weird, because the money wasn't mine to begin with, but it feels like it.  I feel like I'm losing money, especially since Hubby already decided he was going to use the money we make from the sale to wipe his debt.  I hate that idea since it's my money too, but he has been paying the mortgage for 4 years so I guess he's entitled to a little more.  Of course, I've been paying everything else but I guess keeping the lights and AC going doesn't count for much in the end.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Bitch Session

I brought some of Hubby's chilli to work today for lunch.  It didn't exactly reheat well, which was a bummer.  I ended up staying late an hour to talk to a co-worker about what was going on with me and with her.  Her son wants to come stay with her for awhile, but he just got himself kicked out of the military and doesn't want to look for a job, and she doesn't make enough to support him.  She is pretty stressed out, and I really feel for her.

She is appalled that I clean up so much after Hubby, which everyone seems to be when I tell them what I do.  She has Hashi's so she knows that my energy level isn't exactly hitting the normal range.  I told her that it ran me more ragged emotionally to continue to nag him about it rather than just clean it up myself.  It does make me wonder sometimes though, if people can ever be capable of real change with things such as that.  I don't think he really realizes how much it bothers me on a day to day level, but even if he did I don't think that it could change.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Clean Cup, Move Down

Even though we are not changing shifts at work for a week, they decided to tell us to pack up to move desks soon.  We They decided to do a random number pull for seating this time, and I ended up with the two older ladies that are actually pretty similar to me, so I dubbed out spot Sassmasters Circle and decided to hope for the best if they have us move soon.  I still hold out hope that I won't be here by the time the next shift starts.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Stop the Ride, I Want to Get Off

My Monday was Garfield sized today.  I started out with the whole first half of my work day at meetings, which is just too much people to deal with alongside the fact that I have to help run the meetings.  The last meeting was a focus group about the first meeting.  I wish I could explain about what my job is currently doing, but it is so convoluted I'm exhausted just thinking about it.  I imagine it is what getting caught in the undercurrent feels like when you are in an Ocean.  I feel like I'm on a theme park ride that is making me nauseated, only I don't get motion sickness.  As lame as it sounds, I guess it's just the motion of my life that is making me sick.

I came home so drained, and Hubby wanted to know what was wrong.  I vented a little, and then we got caught up in what I call venting and what he calls problem solving.  I just want to be told I'm right in feeling the way I do and I'm awesome, but instead he is trying to solve problems.  Sometimes even the best couples get into a little Venus/Mars problems.  After he fully aggravated me I saw what he was doing and just told him "I'm having a women problem honey.  I need you to treat this like a women problem and not a man problem."  He understood, and made me feel a little better.

By the end of the night I still wanted to just cry myself to sleep.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Lazy Lunching Day

 Another day without anyone coming to see the house.  I'm trying not to panic.

We had lunch at TGIFridays with G before he had to go to work at the movie theater.  Everything important in his life is basically down to decorating the theatre for Halloween.  He decided to make it Ghostbuster themed and is having a lot of trouble with Slimer.  I wasn't really interested, but I listened.  I had a small steak because I had been eating like crap the last few days.  Hubby had a salad, and said he was full.  I doubted it.

A couple of hours later we were both hungry and decided to get a small McSushi from Sam's Club.  I had to pick up a prescription, so we were going there anyway.  Out of all the McSushi out there, I would really say that is the best.

We drove home getting into a fight about Christmas again.  Fight is a strong word, more like a heated discussion.  I hate that it is getting earlier and earlier every year, as I had to walk by the Christmas trees to get to the pharmacy at Sam's.  It is Hubby's favorite holiday, and I feel bad getting down on it, but I hate the commercialism.  When I was a kid it was nice to have a month of looking forward to something.  Now I hate it before the month even arrives.  I also hate that it's not about goodwill towards men anymore, but just about getting presents for everyone that you don't even like that much.  It's aggressive and people suck.

Hubby doesn't agree, but he also isn't a borderline empath that feels other people's emotions like I am.  We have this fight every year, and every year I still hate what Christmas has become.  I doesn't really help that I'm Jewish either I guess.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Bad Eating Habits

We had sushi, macarons, and frozen custard today. Hubby was still hungry by the end of the day, so he got food and I stayed put.

Now I'm up late again trying to sleep. Please allow me to sleep now, fates. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

I'm a Pusher...I Push People

For home and found nothing had changed in regards to packing. Hubby went to a PPV at a friend's house, all day it had seemed.

I shouldn't be surprised, as I had been talking just tonight about how I have to push him to do everything a million times before it sticks.  The coworker I was talking to said that it must be exhausting to have to push all the time. 

She has no idea. 

Rain Rain Go Away

Today was hubby's last day of the show. He still has to do a week of clerical work before he's officially off the job. I think he's really going to miss it, and I don't blame him. They really appreciated him, and gave him many things. They made sure he knew how much they were going to miss him.

I know that I'm not going to get a send off like that at my job and it really pisses me off. I hate that I'm never going to really be fully appreciated for what I do at that job, but I guess that's life.

A thunderstorm started just as I was leaving work, and it was beautiful driving home.  Of course to the nature of the city it was flooding by the time I got home. I'm just glad I got home in time to not have to drive in the worst part of it.

Hubby went out with some coworkers so I hope that he drives safe and gets home. In the meantime I'm going to bed.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Here's Your Sign

I came home from work tonight find the sign for sale in our front yard. It was supposed to be over the fence and I am immediately got upset that they dug a hole in our yard.

I was a little bit more upset than I should be and I couldn't quite figure out why. I think it's just because the sign makes it real. It might also be that hubby got a call and he didn't get the job. Of course he put all of his eggs in that basket, so we're not sure what to do. He'll probably move back home in a week to try and find another job, a temporary Christmas one maybe.

I love this house and I don't know that I'll ever have another one as nice.

My emotions are all over the place.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

For Real This Time

I woke up a little early to check out the $198 house to see what we could find out.  We found out it was a mess and hardly worth looking into.  We decided to list tomorrow at $205 and see what happens.  Hubby said he was going to come home early to finish up the parts that still looked pretty bad.

I lost track of the time and ended up accidentally leaving for work an hour early.  Once I got there I hung out in the coffee shop for a little bit, then went to a fair they were having to pick up some free stuff.  I only got a headband, and a promise to be entered to win something at the end.

I only made it through half my shift before my horrendous period cramps forced me to go home.  I slept for a little while, then made some banana bread.  Hubby came home but didn't clean up anything.  I hope he can make it work later and be ready for people to come tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Rager at the Vodka Party

I was basically mad all day because I was on my period. It isn't supposed to be like this. 15 days is not enough to get over the last time.

Hubby's work gave him a surprise going away party last night, and gave him a bag made from the costume material, and a poster signed by everyone, in a frame they made at the theatre especially for him. 

I'll be lucky if they get me all my vacation hours. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Doubt, Fear, and Vodka

I was supposed to sweep and mop today while hubby was away at work, and I just couldn't do anything. The fatigue was so bad that I couldn't even get downstairs to eat until three in the afternoon. 

We got an email from the realtor that another house with the same sqft as ours went on sale for 198 compared to our 215.  She thinks we might have to drop our price. After only one damn day on the market. 

As I was leaving to go to Hubby's show for the last time, I went to the bathroom to find I had started my period early. Way early. I guess that happens with stress, but it's never happened to me before. 

I started to see the last ten years flash before my eyes. Naturally, panic set in and all the way home I wondered if I was doing the right thing. 

All I want is for someone to look into the future and tell me this is the right thing to do. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Just Kidding, now.

I didn't get a nap today, but we hauled ass on the house and will officially list it tomorrow. G came over with his dog late and we talked for a little. He brought me the book he lent me so I could close up that last box of books. I had bought something on my Amazon Prime account, and in return his girlfriend (who works at Victoria's Secret) got me some bras on her discount.

By the end of the day I was sleep deprived and taking it out on hubby, but to be fair his temper was also very short. 

I just want to get this house on the market and rest. This feels like the kind of fatigue I'd get when my medication was off for my hypothyroidism. Which could still be the problem. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014

So close to listing

We hauled ass on the house today. I had to take a nap around 4:00 because I'd worn myself out. 

We are really close though, and I think we can start listing tomorrow. At least I hope so. We've got to get this thing started. 

Saturday, September 13, 2014


My high point today was when we were discussing how that girl could've been fired. I said "Are we taking bets on how she got fired?" I asked a co-worker and he said "I don't gossip."

I said to him without missing a beat; "it's not gossip, it's speculating on past events for cash,"

Friday, September 12, 2014

Don't Wake Me

I forgot that I turned off my alarm and woke up an hour later than I usually do.  I basically had time for a quick breakfast and shower and I had to leave.

Someone at work left a few days ago to go take care of her family, so I sat in her desk for the first part of my shift today.  She had a "big and tall" chair, and boy was it comfy.  Good on my back too.  I think I might need to make a switch tomorrow. 

I got into the second season of Masters of Sex today.  I like how they are focusing more on character development this season rather than the whole "Look, boobs!" thing they did in the first season.  Although I really miss Alison Janey.  She's one of my favorite actresses, and after the Robin Williams suicide, Barton's attempt really hit me in the feels today.  I hope they come back soon.

Random though for the day about sex, seeing as how Master of Sex is filling up my whole day.  It's interesting how getting to orgasm is the same sort of feeling as when I took gymnastics.  Whenever I was trying to master a new move as a kid, I found that practice would only take me so far.  Sometimes I had to just close my eyes, let go, and believe I could do it.  Every time I could get to that Zen place, I would always nail the move.  If you can't let go, you can't...let go.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Sleep, I Miss You

Hubby didn't get home until around 5 AM, and try as I might I couldn't fall asleep without him.  I was worried about the reason why he was coming home early, and worried about my poor car parked out on the street.  I think I was so tired that I couldn't sleep.

When he finally got home I helped him hop the fence which ended up being more trouble than it was worth.  It turns out that he came home because there was something going on at work that he needed to be back for.  He had a hard time at the house, and I asked him if we needed to rent a friend's house when we went down there, if we couldn't move into mom's house.  He said no, she'd been really receptive and it should be okay.  I didn't have high hopes, because she really goes back and forth in her decisions.

We woke up around 10 and got our cars from the street and brought them back into the garage.  I ended up going to work on about 4-5 hours of sleep.  I was still so hopped up waiting for him to get home that I had a couple of shots of tequila and snoozed on the couch until 7AM.

The lights still weren't on today, so I hopped around to other people's desks.  Who knows if I will ever actually sit at my own desk ever again.  My coworkers are getting a little miffed that I don't sit with them anymore, but if I had a migraine they wouldn't want me to sit with them.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Masters of Soreness

I woke up so sore today.  I don't how I'm ever going to get that my body can't keep up with my head.  Regardless of that fact, I still filled up another box of books and did some laundry before leaving for work.

I also made myself take a break and read the first 20ish pages of "If I Stay" that Sarah was cool enough to loan me.  So far it's almost exactly like the book, which is pretty impressive.

I had to sit on the other side of the floor today because that was the only place with the lights on.  I'm really considering taking a photo and sending it to OSHA.  What do I have to lose?  In the end it was fine because I didn't have to be self-conscious about catching up on Masters of Sex.  Five episodes in and I'm just getting used to seeing Tinkerbell topless and Janis not say "Crack" every five seconds.  Side note; I'm having boob envy from this show.  Everyone has great boobs.  I can't wait to lose enough weight so I have perky cute Bs again instead of these D giants.

When I got home I found that there was literally nowhere to park, and ended up about 3 blocks away from my house.  The place didn't need re-paving, and I was already sore.  Walking home was the freaking worst.

I called the hubby on my break because he seemed a little overwhelmed while helping out my mom back home.  He said that he had a talk with my mom and things were cool, but he was still heading home tonight instead of tomorrow.  I can't help but think that his interview didn't go as well as it could have, or he was just overwhelmed by my mom's level five hoarder status.  He said there was no way any of our stuff was going to fit anywhere in the house and we were going to have to either not move in there at all or get a storage unit.

He's not going to be home until about 3 or 4 AM.  In the meantime, I guess I'm checking out Zillow for possible places.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

If I Stay

I watched the epic fail that was the Apple event this morning to update R of the status, as he had to drive his dad to the airport.  The iWatch does look snazzy, however the price is stupid.

After hubby left in the afternoon, I packed 99% of the things we needed to get rid of in the car and drove it to goodwill.  Then I drove across town to see G who had more boxes for me.  He works at a theater and asked if I wanted to go into a movie.  The only thing playing soon and compatible with my migraine was If I Stay.

After I got out I went home and starting packing away the rest of the boxes with the remainder of the books.  I ran out of boxes upstairs and took that as a sign that it was time to call it a night.

It was around that time that hubby texted and said he'd gotten back to "home" and was nervous for his job interview tomorrow.  I know he will do fine, but I'm worried too.  I also already miss having my cat around.

Everything that I did today took so much energy out of me.  I really wish I had another day off.

Monday, September 08, 2014

Another Rainy Day

It rained almost all day today, and made it impossible to really get up and get going.  Hubby and I went out to eat, grocery shopping, some laundry.  Nothing is really sticking out about the day except that we ate horribly and we said that we wouldn't.  We didn't get much done, but did a lot of shopping and we packed up the cat's things for the trip tomorrow.  I hate that I'm going to be without her for so long, and I hope she doesn't lose her shit the whole way there.

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Your Fair Birthday

It was the hubby's birthday today, but my headache was still raging.  We checked the prices on the nice restaurant we were going to, and it was a little too nice for our taste.  Canceling the reservations, we just went to our favorite sushi joint where service was pretty slow.  Better to end on a high note, so I'm a little sad that's the last time we'll have really good sushi there.

I've felt sort of disconnected all day, and I feel bad for not being more active for his birthday.  We went for Dole Whips but didn't get much really done after that except for a nap and some snacks later on in the night.  I think I have a fever and my headache has never really gone away.   It just occurred to me I might have a sinus infection.  Wouldn't that just be great.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

The Bloom is off the Rose

A co-worker that I trusted and liked really upset me today. I almost started crying at my desk, my nerves are just shot. My heart is also a little broken, because he seemed to be sympathetic normally, but he was insensitive today.

I'm so glad it's my Friday. 

Friday, September 05, 2014

Migraine City

The lighting situation at work, along with everything else, finally starting taking it's toll on me physically. I left work early due to a migraine that I can't take anything for, and my tolerance for bullshit at work is getting smaller and smaller.

I got stuck in traffic for an hour with my migraine.

I just want out. 

Thursday, September 04, 2014


The coolest thing to happen today was my dream, which I wrote down and then fell back asleep.

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Back to life, back to reality

I had to wake up super early to call in and bid for my shift. That sort of threw off my whole day. I was tired and we were busy. Not fun at all.

We have peer reviews coming up and I was brutally honest. Why not go out with a bang?

Tuesday, September 02, 2014


I tried to pack up more stuff today with the boxes G brought over, but the Vodka party was too strong with this day. I spent most of the time trying to do something and failing. No bueno.

Monday, September 01, 2014

Dole Whipped

We really kicked ass on the house today, boxing up two bookshelves worth of books, DVDs and games. We just need to tidy up certain places, finish shampooing upstairs, and this baby is getting put on the market.

We heard there was a new restaurant selling dole whips, so we went to check it out. 

They were out of pineapple, so hubby went with banana and I went with raspberry. It was really good, until hubby looked up how to make it, and it's 99.5% chemical compounds. Oh well. 

I watched the Saved by the Bell movie tonight. It was wonderfully terrible, but also didn't really dig much deeper.