Friday, August 22, 2014

8/20 Future Skype Dates

One of my favorite people in town was having a going away party tonight. He's moving to Paris with some money and a dream. I wish I had his ability to just know things are going to work out. 

He's one of the very few people I miss from this town. Maybe he'll stay long enough I can visit him in France. 

Until then, we'll always have our Skype dates. 

8/19 The Wasted Day

Hubby made Dutch babies for breakfast that we had at noon because it was just a wasted day. All weekend was spent taking multiple trips to goodwill and having 2 bags over what the garbage was willing to take. 

Good thing they thought it was the neighbors trash. 

8/21 Goodwill Towards Furniture

G came over today to see if he wanted anything we were going to give away before the move. He's gonna take most of the stuff later. 

Work was stressful, and I'll be glad to move in when we go. 

Monday, August 18, 2014


Today was my day off, so the Hubby started making some calls.  He called the bank that has our mortgage, and asked about a refinancing option.  The answer was no, ask we can't do anything if we are planning on selling soon.  So we called the person who sold us the house to ask her how fast we can get it on the market.  She said it should sell within a week the way things are in our neighborhood, and that we will make much more than we paid.  She's coming over next Monday to look at the house and tell us what we need to work on.

I don't want to get too excited, but our house is in really good shape.  The Zillow estimates it being almost twice as much as we paid for it.  It's a beautiful house, it's one of the only things I'll miss.

We could live on a year with the money we would make from that.  We decided to shift our focus to getting the house ready, and moving out as soon as it is sold.  We can use the money to get by and find jobs once we get there.  There is much to do.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Just Breathe Deeply

I helped my sister pack up her car this morning, then watched her car leave with her cat and boyfriend along for the ride. As soon as the moment passed, the nausea washed over me again. I started crying in the shower, for the situation, for my sister leaving, for Robin Williams dying. He is a perfect example of my "depression is no excuse" post that's so infamous.

The Nausea passed, and I went to work. My sister was home by my lunch break. She said it felt weird being back, and she cried thinking about living in Mom's level 3 Hoarder House again. She gets the same anxiety I do about it, although mine is so bad that I can't stand being in a Ross for more than a minute. 

The house feels empty now with two less souls in it. I really miss her already, and I'm a little jealous that she's back. I had a brief moment of euphoria after she told me she made it. It was so easy to pack her car and she was home within a day, surely it won't be that hard for us. 

Then the moment passed. 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Name Dropper

I kept updating my resume today.  I sent it to my mom, and she said "I don't think your education should be on top as the first item.  Getting a degree and the work you did in your department is good, but college days are a long time ago.  Your work experience should be what you are promoting now."

Thanks mom.  What a confidence boost: I'm old.  My terribly boring work history comes first.

Just shoot me in the head.  My disaster scenarios are just getting larger and larger.  We are going to get foreclosed on our house and my entire savings account is going to be obliterated by the end of October.  This is not how I imagined it to be at all.  I really wanted to go through a "last time I do this" list that I no longer have time to even make.

I hate to be a pessimist, but I don't think this is going to end well.  My sister leaves tomorrow, and I don't even have room in my heart to deal with it right now.

Friday, August 15, 2014


Right after I hit send on my last blog, Hubby came home and told me that he officially put in his notice at work today for the end of September.  I don't think he realizes that this is pretty much a month away, and he hasn't bothered to save any money.

I put it out of my head and went to sleep, but after my sister gave me a massage in the morning, I let all my emotions out.  I threw out everything I didn't need in my bathroom to calm down, and then updated my resume all day out work.  I knew that was reckless, but I had to do something to make me feel like I had control over something.

I think I did a good job and it looks good.  I printed it out for Hubby and my sister to look over tomorrow. 

I've wanted to throw up all day.