Shave and a Hair Cut

I woke up and went for a blood draw in anticipation of my Dr. Hitler appointment next week.  I then came home and took a shower and tried to do my hair they way I wanted it for my interview tomorrow.  It was a total mess.  I decided I needed to suck it up and get a trim.

Growing out a pixie cut is no joke.  But with a few snips, and shit tons of hair spray, my hair looked good.  Well, better.  There is enough hair spray that I think it's going to last until my interview tomorrow. 

Afterwards I went to the mall and found some pants for my interview, so now I will at least look good.  Now I just have to worry about getting good answers to their questions.  I do feel like I'm ready for this.  I just have to not freak out in between then and now.

It's All Downhill From This Year

http://www.buzzfeed.com/emmyf/every-year-of-your-thirties-ranked-from-worst-to-best

According to this article I read today, this year will be the best year of my 30's. 

I feel like I'm just getting over the shock of getting into my 30's, so that makes sense. Bring it. 

The 27 Club

There was an article in my EW I read today about the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. It made me feel a little bad, because after all these years I still don't see what was a big deal about him.

I liked the band and the music, but it never spoke to me the way that other artists did. It made me think about bands today that I like, and I realized I can barely name one person on each band. I guess Dave Grohl can't be everywhere making it easy. 

Can I Just Go Naked?

After a rough day of work I went around to all the shops at the mall for slacks to wear for my interview. My sister came with me and watched me try on tons of stuff that didn't fit me. 

I guess I haven't lost as much weight as I thought. There goes my self esteem. 

It's Asshole Day

I suddenly felt the need to "be sick out the rear" about halfway to work. I ended up parking like an asshole (no pun intended) and running to the nearby bar and barely making it to their bathroom. It really took a lot out of me physically, and I ended up leaving work at 4:00 because I was tired beyond belief. It didn't help that work was a little rough.  On top of everything else, it was colon cancer awareness day at work.  Trust me, there is nothing left in there.

I got an interview April 1st for the photo studio. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm very excited.

Grits and Red Eye Gravy

It was another low energy day. I went to the mall to return and exchange my Clinique products from a few days ago, then got more underwear and socks from Wal-Mart.

I'm sad because I noticed they make instant grits with red eye gravy now, and I figured they'd have them there. No dice. 

Muscle Strain

I went to the gym with my Sister tonight. She kept criticizing how I was working out on the equipment, so eventually we went our separate ways. To me that defeats the purpose of going to the gym with someone, but I guess sometimes that happens.

The Weirdo in the Bathroom

Hubby and I went to a Titanic exhibit today after a great lunch of tacos. I ducked into the bathroom in between the two places, and while I was doing my thing in the stall a lady and her child came into the stall next to mine. The lady instructed her child not to touch the toilet while they were in the stall, and also said that there are a lot of weirdos out there to watch out for.

Another lady in the bathroom overheard and said how her child once hid under a sink because she told him not to talk to anyone and he was scared. 

By then I was exiting my stall and all conversation stopped. They were just staring at my purple hair. I realized then I was the weirdo in the bathroom.

Brunch and a Show

My blogger app is still being pissy, so as a placeholder I'm leaving the date in the subject line for now. 

Some co-workers and I got together for brunch today with our significant others. It was nice to get together outside of work, but the resturant was pretty loud.  We are doing it at our house next time, which should be better.

Hubby and I went to one of our favorite shows in town.  We barely made it because we were so tired. We decided that for our upcoming 10th wedding anniversary we should buy new rings. He managed to lose his a month ago, and I haven't been able to fit into mine in years due to the hypothyroidism weight gain. We figured getting new rings every two years would be a fun tradition. 

When we got home my sister was already home from her weekend trip and in bed. 

Half an Avocado

I got a sandwich at work today, and for some reason when I asked for avocado, the lady literally put half of one on it.  It felt like a challenge.  I had to finish it, it was so good.

It's kind of sad that the highlight of my day was a sandwich, but you can't win them all.  It was a really good one.

New Gym, Sore You

I had an uneventful day at work, but came home to find Hubby sitting on the couch.  I didn't realize he had the day off of work.  I was going to go to the gym, so I decided to make him come with me.

It took an hour to get ready to get there.  Once we were there, we tried "the circuit" and encountered some meatheads trying to use it as their personal gym rather than what it was meant for.  Another guy was working slowly at one machine, basically just watching us.  It was weird, and I don't really want to go by myself anymore.

Energy level on low

I worked my new shift today for the first time. I'm not a huge fan so far. 

My mom sent me more presents, "Just Dance 2014" and an old school "Pure Moods" CD. I'm so tired I could only get the packaging off before heading upstairs and to bed. 

Looks like I need to talk to my dr about my thyroid levels. I hate being tired. 

Busy Birthday

For being alone with my thoughts today, I wasn't alone much. I started my morning with an email asking about a job in my company. And asking about my company donating something. I took today off for a reason.

Then I got taken out to lunch. It's customer appreciation day at our favorite sushi restaurant, so we decided to go later tonight instead of lunch. Hubby went to work and I painted my toenails and watched Frozen. Right afterwards I got a birthday call from my maid of honor of 10 years. 

That lasted until my sister came home. Hubby came home soon after, and we died my hair purple on a whim. It's darker than I thought it would be, but it will only last a month or so. 

I got out of the shower to a text from another semi-friend. She also wanted to look into a job at my work because she got fired yesterday. I told her to apply. 

I barely had time to myself at all as the day draws to a close. But there is still sushi to be had, and it was a pretty good day.  

****

Had this at sushi;

Immediately did this;

Ikea Pit Stop

We woke up and ate at the hotel's coffee shop again before taking off for Ikea.  It was a pretty quick trip, the largest thing we walked away with was a piece of furniture to put your shoes by the door.  We had lunch at an amazing Indian place nearby, and then started the trip home.

Random memory from the day: We were in the elevator in the hotel, going down to check out.  Another couple in the elevator asked us why we brought our own pillows.  I ended up saying because we were "sensitive" but what I thought she wanted me to say was that we were picky as hell.  She did agree that sometimes a good pillow will make or break a hotel, but at that point I realized how long it had been since we changed the sheets, and how much our pillows must have been stinking up the elevator.  I felt kind of bad, so now, before I go to bed, I'm making hubby help me change the sheets.

Tomorrow is my birthday, which I will spend alone by choice.  I think it will be a nice change.

Billy Hearst

We got to the beach house late and just turned the heat up and went to bed.  We were up early (for us) the next morning and ate a small breakfast at the bottom of the hill.  We got on our tour for Hearst Castle on time and took the tours that went around the big house.

They've changed it since we had been last.  Now the tours are self guided amongst the gardens, and that makes the actual inside tours much shorter.  We spent our time as wisely as possible, and I got hundreds of photographs from inside.  Our second tour guide was an amazing source of information on not only Hearst, but all the items inside the house.

After the tour we drove down the PCH to Hollywood, where we stayed in the kitchiest, most retro style hotel.  I took tons of pictures of it too, and we enjoyed the room and all the Hollywood star pictures.  It was right by Mann's Chinese Theater, but we got there so late we just ate and went to bed.

Great Gatsby

Our friends have kind of abandoned us today, so I'm sitting in their living room watching Gatsby.

We should be having dinner soon, then leaving for San Simeon. It's been a real boring day. 

Shrek the Musical

I didn't get much sleep because I had to pack for the trip. I really wish we were going to Disneyland. But this trip should be fun too.

We got into Bakersfield by dinner time and went with friends to a high school production of Shrek. HS productions are always fun, but it was long. We went back to their house and went right to bed. 

A good long day

I'd been waiting a year for this day. I saw VMars at midnight, then again at 9 with a friend who is also a fan. I love midnight showings because these people aren't just out to see a movie. People at a midnight show are fans. They are there to see that show.

I'm not disappointed at all in the movie. I feel at peace, like a 7 year wait is finally over. 

Really? A Vodka party today of all days?

I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm to a vodka party. With a big meeting at work today, baking I have to get done, and VMars tonight, I have time to curl up and be a girl. 

***

I made it through the meeting and actually had a lot of fun. The awkward not speaking to J was minimal. I caught to catch up with old friends. 

It's an hour until VMars time. My stomach is making me a little uncomfortable, but I'm still pretty jazzed up for this. 

It's go time. I've waited a year for tonight.

New Desk Day

I haven't started my new shift yet, but I did move my desk today.  Everyone in the area apparently is a huge vampire and doesn't like the lights on.  I can't see my calendar across the desk, it's dumb.  I have two lights on my desk and both don't do a good enough job. 

There is an overwhelming amount going on in the next few days.  The Veronica Mars movie, my movie, is coming up in less than 24 hours.  I paid to have it brought to the big screen via Kickstarter, and this really does feel like a moment I'll remember for the rest of my life.

My husband says it's silly how I'll anthropomorphize inanimate objects.  I suppose the same is true of characters in books and movies.  I'm re-watching the season finale of season 1 of VMars right now, and crying even though it is the millionth time I've watched it.  This character feels like a part of me in a way that Anne of Green Gables and Erica from Being Erica did.  Fiction shapes my reality, and no matter what happens in this movie tomorrow, I will be happy to have visited my old friend one more time.

Much to Think About

I lived a lot inside my head today.  There was a lot going on, I was running around at work nearly all day.

At work we joke around when someone doesn't know something easy on the computer.  We laugh and say "You forgot how to Internet."  When I got to work today I told a co-worker how my body was being crazy, because I got measured at Victoria's Secret and went up a cup size.  I was trying on a push up bra, and something didn't feel right, so I called over the lady who measured me and asked if it just was a wrong fit.  She had to instruct me to pull my boobs up into the cup and it would fit better.  I told my co-worker "I forgot how to boob."  We all had a good laugh.

There was a new program that was started at work, that really felt like it was thrown together.  It started to get to me when it became clear how ill-conceived the program was.  I had to take a deep breath, and realize that in the end it wasn't mine to be upset about.  I was just helping, and it was not going to be me that looked bad or stupid.

Sometimes that pep talk to myself works, and somethings it doesn't.  This time it really did work like a charm.  I didn't stress about it, I was able to just enjoy the time that it took me away from the real work.

Internet Friends vs IRL friends

I IMed with Mike of The Mike Project for a good chunk of the day today, and I realized what a great friend he is, both on and offline, and no matter how much time has passed. There are not too many people out there that are great at both. 

He helped me out in so many ways just by being an example of how awesome people should be, I can't thank him enough. Go check out his blog on my sidebar and read his amazing observations. 

Raging

Nothing happened today except a real "fun" text conversation with J. Her passive aggressive comments and refusal to meet to talk in person is pissing me off. She actually sent me a gif of "Let it Go" from Frozen.

The only thing I want to let go of is this friendship. 

**************

Ok, that's not all that happened. My sister and I hung out, and she helped me through the rage. I'm really glad she's here, I think she and the hubby are my only friends left here. 

Mending Fences

20 minutes ago I sent a text message to J asking to meet up to discuss what happened about two weeks ago.  No answer yet.

My sister came to work today to play some ping pong and have lunch.  A co-worker gave me some guilt about the whole J situation while we were eating, and I decided for the good of everyone around us I needed to either end it or fix it enough so everyone else wasn't uncomfortable.

Part of me is pretty pissed off that I'm getting the pressure to fix it when I don't feel like I was the one who did anything wrong.  I'm fairly certain that in literally all situations I'm put in, it is mandatory that I be the bigger person.

Being an adult is lame.

Looking Forward to the Future

Some days you have nothing to do but look ahead to the future. Once we have our new shifts at work and are told to back our desks, the present no longer exists. We can only look ahead with anticipation, surrounded by boxes. 

That's the dance we danced today, working and talking about where we would be sitting. I'll be far away from the window, but in three months this shift will be over and a new one begun. 

The only thing that's constant is change. 

Not Obese, but Still Fat

I got on the scale this morning and dropped 2 pounds from the 5 pound gain while I was off my meds.  I'm still considered overweight, but no longer obese. I should feel better, and like I'm moving in the right direction, but I still feel like I have a very long way to go.

I blame this in part to the re-rise of MySpace.  It came back with all my old pictures on it, pictures from when I was in the 120's instead of the 160's.  Enough time has gone by that I actually see how young I looked, instead of just how skinny I looked.  Maybe that is because of my impending birthday.

My mom asked what day I was celebrating, and I told her that it most likely wasn't going to be "celebrated" at all.  My low carb diet prevents major cake binging.  I'm officially so old I could be on Sex and the City.  They seem so much sexier than I feel.  Of course, all of their bodies put together wouldn't equal one of mine.

Hubby and I joined a gym a few days ago.  Time to start going.

For Lent I’m just giving up in general

I can't claim the title of this post, I saw it on tumblr today.  Purim is coming up for me though, although there isn't much to do with most Jewish holidays except for go to temple, which I haven't done since I was around 8.  So, I'm pretty much going to let that holiday pass.

Today I was still tired, but finally felt like I was along the right path again with all my meds.  J and I didn't speak, but I did talk to a few co-workers about it.  They say I'm being too easy on her and I should be more mad.  That made me feel better.

I've been too sick to worry about the stuff piling up on my DVR lately.  Running through the list, I have horrible taste in TV shows.  I've currently got 2 Broke Girls, Bates Motel, The Crazy Ones, and 2 episodes of Dallas.  I feel like that old lady with my stories.

I need to call the GI doctor tomorrow to set up an appointment.  I've got to get my physical crap together.

It's Tuesday, and I'm Fat

Being Jewish, I only know about Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday from books and movies.  I once almost wiped someone's ashes off their forehead because I didn't know what it was.

So I guess it is supposed to be a day where you feast like hell, and I think it is the last day of Mardi Gras.  It felt like anything but a party today.

I couldn't sleep due to yesterday's misadventures.  I ended up getting up hours before I needed to in order to pace and continue to call the doctor's office until they opened.  It was in those wee morning hours that I also discovered that the antibiotics I am taking just gave me a yeast infection.  I had almost managed to forget that my body does that after a heavy round of Amoxicillin.

I stayed on hold for 20 minutes while the doctor called the pharmacy and  finally got the correct medication.  I picked up some Monistat 1 (Who has time for the 7 day or 3 day version?  No thank you) that seems to come as a "fun pack" now.  It came with the treatment, 4 "cool wipes," and the normal ointment.  I fully expected a warm blanket and a grandma to come popping out, and she would tell me that life was all going to be okay.

Of course I was in a meeting when I was supposed to take my pill, and I forgot to take it afterwards.  I was IMing back and forth with J today about what happened on Thursday.  She seems really defensive and passive aggressive about it, and I tried to explain my side.  I was the last one to send a message, so I guess the ball is in her court.  I have a feeling this is the beginning of the end of this friendship. All I really wanted was for her to say she wanted to work it out, but she never did.

Comedy of Errrrrrrrrrrors

I woke up as I normally would if it was a work day and drove the 30 minutes to Dr. Hitler's office.  I explained that I had been waiting 10 days for them to get their head out of their ass and get my prescription into the pharmacy.  They stated they had sent it into my old pharmacy.  I managed not to lose my shit on them and get them to send it in while I was there.

I then went straight to my pharmacy.  They had one ready, and the other the insurance wouldn't cover.  I checked and discovered the doctor had sent in the normal one instead of the generic.  Back to the doctor's office I went, and they sent in a correction that generic was okay.  I went to lunch afterwards and got a phone call about 20 minutes into it from the doctor's office, making sure I "had everything I needed."  I told them I hadn't been to pick up my prescription yet, but I'd sure let them know.

I got back across town to my pharmacy just before 5:00, and stood in line for around 15 minutes.  By the time I got up to the front and discovered that the new medicine wasn't extended release, which is what I needed.

I had my first drink in 2 months tonight.  After this comedy of errors today, it's all I can do to keep from going crazy.

Sushi and Oscar Night

Hubby and I went to a new sushi place today that was pretty good, then came home to have a nice sushi coma.  I'm now watching the Oscars and sad that Leo DiCaps still didn't win.  I feel the Susan Lucci vibe and I don't like it.

I was reading over Post Secret today and there was a postcard that said she took pictures every time she had sex so she could show her future child what she looked like on the day she conceived them.  It made me think of how documented we have made our lives.  Even I am doing the same thing on this blog for the year, and yet I wonder what everyone else's reasons are for doing it, other than just self centered-ness.  Why the need to overshare every moment in our lives?  Is it the need to connect with another human, as we fall further and further apart from each other physically?

Is it better or worse that I like someone's Instagram photos more than I speak to them in person?

Birth Month Begins

To already be in the third month of the year seems crazy to me, but I guess the beginning of the year always goes by fast.

It was nice that my birth month started on my Friday.  It's on the 19th, and the shift change comes on the 15th when I'll be off visiting Hearst Castle for my birthday.  I took off a long time for my birthday, but really after what happened with J, I don't really feel like being there anymore.  It's permeated my brain and I feel like everyone has just pretended to be my friend.

I found this quiz online today and wasn't really surprised to find I am uber sensitive. I try to keep a hard shell on the outside so I don't get taken advantage of, but that doesn't always work.