Mr. and Mrs. Complete Tool

Lover boy and I went to pick up my new car today, and decided to stop by a Sushi Bar/ Benihana type restaurant. They had just opened for lunch when we walked in, and there was only one other couple with a baby just sitting down.

LB and I weren't familiar with the menu yet, so we decided to sit at one of the "we cook it right in front of you" tables. The host lead us to the same table as the couple.

At first the couple didn’t really capture my attention. In fact, we all were asked to move before we even sat down; they were doing construction and they didn't want us to be bothered by the dust.

The wife (Mrs. C. Tool) was skinny and blonde. She was the kind of blonde where you didn't know if it was dyed or not, it was such an odd shade. It must've been natural because Baby Tool had the same hair color. Oddly enough, Mr. Tool had the same hue; only his pink scalp was showing through the thin hair.

A sudden surge of anxiety came over me as we sat down. I didn’t know why, but it was as if the air had suddenly changed. I couldn’t explain it, but it soon became clear to me when our busboy came over to get our drink orders.

"I want some of that beer, you know, that warm beer? Japanese beer...or maybe it’s Chinese, I don't know” Mr. Tool’s voice carried to the far reaches of the restaurant as he continued to berate the waiter. "Sapporo? I need that. In a glass. A cold glass. Like, frosted. Really cold. Do you got that?"

It was then time for Mrs. Tool, who just said curtly "Warm Sake." The poor busboy seemed thrilled with our diet coke and water order and ran off as fast as he could.

The waiter came over and flipped on the heat lamps so that they would be warm for the"show," when they came to make our food. About 30 seconds later Mr. Tool freaked the hell out because it was “too hot.” In fact, he told the manager, the busboy, and the waiter that it was necessary to turn the air on, because he was hot, unreasonably hot. He told them all this within a 30 second span!

Lover Boy and I exchanged looks that said "Dude, why are you sitting at the 'make the food in front of you' table and complaining about the heat? It has to be hot to make your food!" LB and I finally waved the waiter over at the same time and requested we be moved to a table. We tipped him a lot, not because he moved us, but because he had to deal with those people by himself now.

As we were moving to the new table, Mrs. Tool said "It’s so busy in here, usually we are the only ones in here."

"This is their usual spot to eat? We will never eat there again!" I thought as we settled into our new table.

We were only about 20 feet away, but my blood pressure immediately improved! I hugged LB and told him I loved him, and I’m so ecstatic that he will never be like Mr. Tool.