Saturday, May 08, 2010

Deepest Desire or Worst Nightmare

This week my dreams have been particularly vivid.  Last night's emotional torment took an all-time high.

In my dream I started out in a bottom floor of a building.  Lover Boy took me to an escalator and told me we were going up.

I took a few steps up before I realized that there were no sides, and it seemed to stretch on forever.  Of course it also narrowed as it went up as well.  My heart started racing and I dropped to my knees.  As soon as I can't see where it began, nor where it seems to end, it breaks down.  I look down into the abyss and start to panic.  I can't go down, and I can't bring myself to keep climbing up, even though Lover Boy is a few steps ahead, tapping his foot impatiently.

After a little while I finally get the nerve to move, or more scoot, up the escalator until I reached the top, which was a huge house.  Sadly, because it had taken me so long to get there, we had squatters.  The people actually consisted of friends I had had in elementary school, and a few cousins I hated.

I found my mom and complained that she didn't take care of anything while I was away, and now all these people I used to be friends with are there trashing it!  She told me I was being too mean and I should let everyone live there.  It was bonkers.

But I still woke up with that feeling I was stuck on the elevator, too scared to look down, and too scared to look up.

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