Fresh Panic

We handed in the keys for our apartment of five years on Saturday. We talked with the manager and she said we should expect a refund in the mail soon. Yesterday we got a bill in the mail.

We were expecting to lose the cleaning deposit. We'd been in there for 5 years, and even though we'd kept it as clean as possible, dirt happens. But we also had to put a deposit of $45 on a gate opener, and a $75 pet deposit. We were expecting at the very least, a check for that.

Lover Boy is going in to talk to them today, but last night it was still on my mind. I went to bed and was staring up at the ceiling. It was then I noticed how far away the ceiling actually was. How big our bedroom was. Suddenly a fresh wave of panic swept over me as I realized we were responsible for this whole big house.

No longer could we call the office if our shower-head was leaking. We didn't have a pool key. We had a huge house. What did we get ourselves into?

As suddenly as it came, it vanished. We did the right thing, and I was panicking because I thought we'd have to pay more money to the apartment, and had we stayed in the apartment, we wouldn't be dealing with it at all.

I've never been good with change. Technically, this most recent move was only my second in my lifetime.

But this is the first house where I've been able to pull my car into a garage. The first where I have to remember trash day, and I get to recycle without it being a huge pain in the ass.

I've already gotten so used to leaving my car unlocked in the garage that I actually found my car door wide open this morning. I was terrified I'd be late for work because the battery would be dead, but I was lucky.

I continue to be lucky. But after the last year, I think it's the least fate can do.

Gee, do you think they'll get it?

When are people going to learn that the direct approach is the best approach?

Yes, I'm bitching about Facebook again.

Now this stupid junior-high style bullshit is going around where females are posting the color of their bra as their facebook status, with no explanation. They are supposedly doing this to race breast cancer awareness, and to eff with the males because they won't know what's going on.

Yeah, the best way to raise awareness about something is to NOT MENTION IT AT ALL!!!!!!!

And what is it even doing? If you get everyone to do it, then what? So they know about breast cancer. Did you think they didn't know about it before? Do you think posting my bra color is going to suddenly made me find a cure, or get involved anymore than I already am? Nope. It's not doing a damn thing.

So knock it off.

Experiencing Life...Live.

I have to vent: I hate social networking so fucking much. I am SO sick of passive aggressive, plain aggressive, and deliberately vague status updates.

There is nowhere else on earth to be direct and to the point, so stop being vague. Don't say "Is thinking of someone special..." Get up off your ass and find that person, and tell them. The rest of us don't give a shit.

"Please pray for Joe in his time of need." Who is Joe, and why do I need to pray for him? Does God really listen to vague-ass prayers like that? I don't think so.

" :-) " That's not a status update. That doesn't tell me what is going on in your life, or what you are up to.

All I'm asking is just to use status updates for actual status updates, not some bullshit thing that you claim you don't even want to talk about. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, STOP POSTING IT ON THE FUCKING INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/end rant.

Tis the Season

Stolen by someone who in turn stole it from someone else:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift Bags. I can't wrap with a darn, and you get to the presents sooner!

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. I hate the thought of killing a tree every year. Plus, messy clean up.

3. When do you put up the tree? The better half usually puts it near the TV.

4. When do you take the tree down? Depends. Usually I'll let him leave it up a little bit longer, especially this year, since it wasn't up until yesterday.

5. Do you like eggnog? When he makes it, oh yeah. Sooooo good.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? My Princess of Power castle. We went to this fancy-smansy store uptown and picked it out of the window.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? No. We don't really put much religion into our holiday. But who does anymore?

8. Hardest person to buy for? My Mom. She's allergic to EVERYTHING.

9. Easiest person to buy for? My best friend. She never met a fabric/scent/bath product she didn't like.

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received? I honestly can't remember. Couldn't have been that bad, I guess!

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas card? I love getting stuff in the mail. There is something more special about someone taking the time to send something rather than just pressing send.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Nutcracker.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? This year I started in the time of never because we just made a HUGE purchase and can't afford a thing.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope. Unless it was a office gift exchange.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Pumpkin Pie. I know it's more October-ish, but I love it SO much.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Don't care.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Well, this year it's that Wings song, but just because I know it pisses someone off :-)

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Don't care.

19. Can you name Santa’s reindeer? I'm sure if I thought about it long enough.

20. Do you have an Angel on top or a star? Star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? During Hanukkah, 'cause it's usually sooner.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? People. So, pretty much like the rest of the year.

23. Ugliest Christmas Decoration ever invented? Fruitcake. It's a decoration because 9 times out of 10 you can't eat it.

25. Which looks best theme trees or homey trees? Wait, what?

26. Gingerbread or sugar cookies? Gingerbread.

27. Do you like Fruitcake? See 23.

Man Up, and Be Ready to Be Hurt

Remember getting those survey notes in school as a kid?

Do you want to go out with me? Circle yes or no

When you are a child, the entire world is new and rejection is something you want to avoid at all costs. We believed that it would hurt much less in a note than it would be face to face.

Simply put, children are just that; children.

Adults should be old enough to take rejection face to face. Anyone who goes through a social networking site should be shot down immediately.

I recently got an email on a social networking site with the subject line "confidential" and the body of the email only consisted of a male asking me if he thought my friend would date him.

You know that old saying, "If you have to ask, the answer is no?" That's the kind of answer I wanted to give this guy. Not only was he not man enough to ask her himself, but he wanted a old high-school fallback in case he would get rejected.

Advise to the men, direct from a woman: A girl will never fall for a guy who likes to work with a net like that. Think of all the classic men that women fall in love with throughout the ages; The rebel who takes what he wants, and makes girls swoon...the romantic (think Edward Cullen from the stupid Twilight Series), might look lovingly, but won't be pussy enough to give you a note. Love letter, maybe. The list goes on.

The one guy who will send the note will send off the air of uncertainty, and insecurity. Who wants to go out with the geek who will never get any because he's too busy sending notes instead of impressing the girl?

Ending the bleek year on a high note...

My dad died in March. The last of my grandparents soon followed. I went under the knife for the first time in my life.

I've always said that I write better when I'm sad. Turns out, I didn't really know what sad was. I'll have to correct myself to say that I write the best when I have something to be melodramatic about.

I've never had anyone die before. Dealing with three deaths nearly all at once was almost too surreal. By the time my Grandma's death occurred, the funeral felt like something out of a soap opera. Meeting people for the first time, the white casket that I couldn't even begin to imagine something was actually inside. They made us actually put dirt on the coffin. I could hardly keep a straight face during the whole ordeal. The only thing that grounded me to the situation was my Mom.

If I feel like I've been through a lot, my poor mother has been through so much worse. She lost her mother and her husband within months of each other. She and Dad ran a business together, and Mom has to deal with the fallout of new owners and coworkers as well.

I wish I still lived there. I wish I could help her clean out the house, and ward off her depression. I'm not saying she should be over it. But she's getting worse, and from here there is nothing I can do.

I don't want to repeat history. I don't want my Mom to be begging me to kill her in a few years. I'm not sure what else I can do to help her. The tough love isn't working. But I'm afraid pandering will only make her more depressed.

Is it too late to take it back?

I was watching Australia with a friend the other day, and we got to talking about how much times have changed. It doesn't seem that long ago in American history that we got all our news in the newsreels at the movies. The movies where, there was only maybe 2 screens and one movie playing at a time.

Now, you can't have a conversation with someone without them checking their cell phone. People knew about the plane crash on the Hudson before news people could pick it up because of Twitter. People saw it on their cell phones long before the TV could pick it up.

Now we know what our high school sweetheart is doing on a daily basis thanks to MySpace and Facebook, and everyone gets nervous and anxious if they leave their cell phone at home. Society is now so dependent on getting everything immediately. And we do! Who is that actor guesting starring on our favorite show? IMDb will take care of that, you'll never have to strain yourself again.

My question is, which is better?

There is something nice about not knowing how someone's day was before you got home, so you have something to discuss over dinner. Hell, having dinner together!

Not constantly feeling as if you were missing out on something. Being able to meet somewhere that you set up weeks earlier, knowing they'll show up and not flake out last minute, and enjoy just each others company.

There is something alluring about life being so simple and pleasant.

On the other hand, I'm a tech girl. I love making my video blogs and updating my twitter account...and writing my blog, knowing I'm reaching out to a world that a decade ago wouldn't even know I existed.

It's two different worlds...I'm not sure which I'd prefer.