I've found lately that people expect me to be a completely different person. Last year when my dad died, I was sad. I'm still sad. It's not something you just get over. Especially since I lost the rest of my grandparents too, and that was the first time I've even had someone close to me die. In my life.
I'm still sort of processing. But it seems to some people, that I should be...well, "over it" already. People saying I don't seem "happy" to be there. Like they didn't know me before. I was never the type of person to "bounce" into a room, unless I had just drank 5 energy drinks. At Once.
I'm finding this "Life after Death" life somewhat strange. You are constantly assessing how you should be acting, making sure you aren't offending anyone. I've tried avoiding parties and functions with tons of people, because I'm just not sure how to react.
Mostly, I'm still me. I'm not really being different. But for some reason, I guess I should be acting like I just gave the world a Coke. Why do people think this way? I feel like everyone in the world gets to fall apart, but for some reason I'm just not allowed. Everyone gets a day off, except for me.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
a 180 or a 360?
Labels:
Pity Party,
Psych 101,
Relationships
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5 comments:
When I was really struggling with my own 2009, I too avoided all social situations just so I didn't have to be so unhappy in front of other people. I felt that if I opened my mouth, all of my misery would come tumbling out and I would alienate everyone around me.
I talked to a therapist about it, but time was what really helped. I'm still not the outgoing person I used to be, and I suspect that it's going to take some seriously time for that to happen.
Forgive yourself. Let yourself off the hook for your situation. Then I think the others will follow as well.
Get over it! Get over IT! What a stupid thing to say. How can you get over losing a parent or a spouse or a child? I don't think you ever get over it. Get on with it maybe but your life has changed forever. My dad is 82, his dad died when he was in his late 40's. He says he still wants to tell his dad when something happens to him that he would always tell him. So don't get over it.
I really don't know what I will do when my dad dies, I will be a wreck for a long long long time.
Sarah-I'm actually still in the anger stage. I'm angry when people aren't sensitive enough. I stay away from parties and crowds because I'm afraid I will go off on someone. The last time I went to a party, someone splashed water near my phone and I pretty much took his head off. It's getting better though.
AfterGirl-I think you are right. I don't know how many times I've picked up the phone this past year because I saw something I wanted to know my dad's opinion on. I think it's almost worse for people around you to deal with more than you though, because they just don't know how to help you, and it just kills some people.
No one can tell you how to grieve. I offer to punch people in the neck, for telling others to 'get over' a loss. I'd be happy to do that, tell me when and where. Then I'll tell them to 'get over it'.
I'll get the address together and get back to you!
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