Wearing Ugly After Labor Day

This is what I wore to the wedding. It was an outdoor wedding, it flattered my body shape and didn't make me look like I was 30 pounds overweight, which I am. And no, Dragonfly, I didn't have a funky tan line. Whew!

I didn't know anyone at the wedding, so I pretty much stood alone until it started. Of course, I grabbed a bottle of water to help me through the humid 105F/40C heat.

As I sat sipping my water, I heard a woman loudly exclaim; "Oh, honey, don't worry about it, you look fabulous. The only real taboo is if you wear white to a wedding."

I turned around and sure enough, she was staring pointedly at me. I would've done anything to have the guts to say something to her at that moment, but I wasn't about to cause a catfight at someone else's wedding. I just took comfort in the fact that she was not only super old but as big as a house, and I took my seat.

She got to me though, and even though I saw at least 7 other people in more white than me as the evening progressed, and I felt like a social pariah for the rest of the time there. I even ended up at a table by myself.

Rod, I would've given anything for you to be there. We would've had a fantastic time!

To anyone who cares, here was the bride in her dress. Oh, and an update on my car: it is leaking oil something fierce. I'm thinking it's time to start looking for a new one.

Are You Talking About Me?

List ten things you want to say to ten people you know, but never will for whatever reason. Don't say who they are. Use each person only once.

1. I'm free with you because I think you are the only person who understands and is always on my side. If you ever "played Devil's advocate" I don't think I would like you anymore.
2. Did you ever know that during that period of my life you could've gotten me to do anything? If you did, thank you for not making me do anything crazy.
3. I wish we connected in person like we do online. I could use someone like you now.
4. You said you didn't want me to lie to you. When I told you the truth, you got angry. Make up your mind or get out of my life, I don't have time for your crap.
5. Without you, I would die.
6. I'm sorry I was such a drag. Thanks for sticking by me as long as you did. I don't blame you for eventually leaving.
7. Why didn't you tell me you were gay? It would've saved us years of wasted time when we could've been friends.
8. I appriciate everything you do for me so much. You always run before I can thank you.
9. It might seem small to you, but I will never forgive you.
10. You are right; things will never be the same. Let's just go our seperate ways.

TDG and the Search for Wireless Internet

The $35 dollar gift card was burning a hole in my pocket on the way home from work. The idea of blogging on the couch from my neglected laptop was calling to me, and the wireless router was on sale for $50. It was going to be a steal.

The Office Depot was only 1/3 of a block from my house, so I could get it and be home. I promised a friend I'd be online to help him out with a problem by 6pm. It was 5:15 when I walked into Office Depot.

Why is it the only one on sale is the only one with that big gaping hole where it should be? With a sigh, I turned to mow down an employee. I came across Employee #1 and Supervisor #1. They said they'd look in the back room and disappeared. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach…something was telling me it wasn't going to be back there. I was thinking of asking them to call another store when they came back with a piece of paper. They said they didn't have it in the back, but they gave me a list of the other stores, with an inventory of my router. This was better than a phone call! Or so I thought.

I went to the next closest Office Depot, who had 8 according to the sheet Employee and Supervisor #1 had given me. Here I found Supervisor and Employee #2...some of the stupidest men I've ever met. They were looking everywhere that I knew that it wasn't. Like, behind the pens. It’s not going to be behind the pens boys! They said it wasn't their fault because Store #1 hadn't called them to make sure they have it on hold. But, they will call Store #3 and make sure they are holding it for me. Supervisor #2 stays on the phone with Store #3 for about 20 freaking minutes. At this point my cell is dying, and I’m late for my internet meeting.

Because I don't have a choice, I head to Store #3, because they will only hold my router until closing. I’m so tired by this point I just buy what they hand to me (I was only paying attention to the price) and walked out the door. Of course halfway back to my car I stop. I stop in the middle of the road because the feeling suddenly hits me that it was to easy. I've had issues with Store #3 before, and they always screw up. I look in the bag and sure enough it is an adapter, and not a router. After dealing with Supervisor #3 and #4, and Employee #3, 4, 5, and 6, I was ready to kill someone. I pretty much deal with everyone in the store, and get this half-baked story about how the delivery is late so the computer doesn't reflect what they really have in the store. They refused to do anything for me, and were pretty much useless. I returned the adapter and headed back to Store #1.

Supervisor and Employee #1 are still there. I go in and let them have it. The whole story. I happen to add that I just drove 30 miles and am still without router. The sale will end before any of the stores get the router. When Supervisor #1 looked to not be breaking or cutting me a deal, I had to drop the "what are you going to do for me?" bomb. I happen to know from working in customer service that this is the home stretch. "What are you going to do for me?"roughly translates to "Do something for me or I'’ll throw a damn fit. Make it good asshole."

I walked out of the store at 8:30. He gave me a faster router for $50 instead of the original $90. Plus, don't forget I had a $35 gift card. I made out like a bandit! All I had to sacrifice was a little of my sanity. And the gas in my car.

So here I am, blogging while watching "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" It doesn't get much better than this.