Inner Voices Vs. Inner Child

I read a sentence from a book on Amazon that said "Can you separate the voices of your parents, your teachers, your friends, the media, and Hollywood from the voice of yourself--your own inner voice?"

It's a good question, and one that I have been feeling a lot of lately.  It's hard to think about something as lame as a car while I'm unemployed and just want to find a job to make it by on...but it seems to be something I'm coming back to.

I was pushed into buying what I consider a "mom car" a few years ago.  It's almost paid off, but in the meantime we've had a hell of a time together.  $5,000 worth of damage from a hit and run, and about $6,000 of solving a pesky "check engine" light problem.  It doesn't quite feel like it has power steering...ever.  I have to back in and out of every parking spot to get into it straight.  The gas tank is enormous, and nearly puts me out of house and home every time I have to fill it up.

I have another car in mind.  A dream car.  A car that reminds me more of my first car; compact, sporty, everything a Mom car is not.  Turns on a dime, has good gas milage, and the dealership has told me that I can basically get a new one and order everything that I want it to have, all the way down to a built in navigation system.

I've never had a new car.  My parents never owned a new car.  The idea of a car that is all mine and no one else's excites me.  I really want it.  I have all but promised it to myself as soon as I get a job and can afford it.

But, is it just me?  Is it my inner voice telling me what will make me happy and will be better in the long run?  Or is it my inner child wanting a toy that no one else has touched before?

It's the same with a lot of things lately.  The job I'm up for is a great company, and although it's a starter position, I have very high hopes for it.  So high that I'm deathly afraid I won't get it, and will be in serious trouble, because all other jobs have avoided my follow up calls and even outright rejected taking my resume.  The last 7 months has been very taxing on my self-esteem, and I just hope when I get into the interview, they don't see that.

Because I really want a new car.