Home

I had lunch with a high school acquaintance today, and posted a picture on my Instagram thanking her for the coffee date.  She commented "Glad you're home!" and at first I misunderstood and thought she was happy I got back home safe.  Did I drive crazy?  Did I forget something we've talked about?

Then I realized, she meant home.  Back in town home.  She was glad I was back.

After 4 months, she was really the first one to express that I was home.  Now it feels way more real.  I'm here.

Vicious Cycles

This is one of those days where I hate my mother.  She's so condescending and doesn't say what she means and is so passive aggressive and some days I just can't fucking take it anymore.

No wonder I was a depressed kid.  A moody teenager.  An angry adult.  I can't deal with her shit and guilt tripping much longer.  I applied for 3 jobs today and followed up on a lead.  We need to get jobs and get out of my mother's house.  Tomorrow I will be better, but right now I'm fully willing to let her rot away inside her hoarder home until she dies, and then I will happily throw away everything she owned and make the house nice, and sell the shit out of it.

I know I'd be sad that she was gone...but I'm not going to lie, part of me will be relieved.