Pretend Boyfriends Can Break Your Heart

Everyone calls him Gunns because he is 6'4" with some of the nicest muscles you've ever seen. I would be intimidated to talk to him if I hadn't met him in a suit first. His initial insecurities about things made my heart go out to him. He once asked me why girls find him intimidating, and I flat out told him it was because no one could turn away from his muscles and his extremely attractive face. I found him attractive because of his personality, THEN his rocking body.

One night after leaving a party, I said goodbye to Gunns. He was blitzed out of his mind, and he took my face in his hands and brought our faces together. I managed to move at the last minute to avoid an on the lips kiss, then he opened his mouth and said;

"I want you to know that I love you. And I love Lover Boy too. My love for him is the only thing stopping me from picking you up and going off to Fiji and having my way with you, because I love small girls."

It was a drunken statement, like many I must've made the night that turned me into Two Drink Girl. It still made me feel pretty and wanted, and every girl needs that once in awhile. He was made fun of the next day for it, and weeks after. He even brought me a label off of the Fiji water bottles as a joke, which made me feel even nicer, like he even thought of me. He even moved someone aside so that he could sit next to "his girlfriend."

But then the other night I went to visit him at his work, a VIP host of an ultra-lounge. I saw him make eyes at a girl as he let her in, and I jokingly said to him "Are you cheating on me?" All in fun, all he had to do was sarcastically say "No, not me!"

Instead, I got "Of course. You are lucky I'm still even interested."

Needless to say, I'm in the market for a new boyfriend to take me to Fiji.

Why I'm a Two Drink Girl from Now On

Free drinks are the path to hell. In fact, the road to hell is paved with free drinks.

But only from 8-10pm. Then the free drinks stop, and you are left with throwing up in the sink, because all the stalls are taken. When you stumble out of the bathroom, two big men are they're saying they need to talk to you outside. Security Guards. You are being kicked out, and you've lost your camera. Lover Boy is telling you need to go home, and you go towards the car.

Waking up the next morning, a LOT was missing from that night. Lover Boy fills you in on the parts you don't remember...but it's the fact that you don't remember it that scares you.

I've always been very controlling. I've never done drugs because of the lack of control. In fact, you've always been a goody-two-shoes. When I think of last Sunday night I get sick to my stomach knowing I could have done anything. I had lost control. Although, if you ask anyone there I became more controlling.

"Hold my camera."

"Why, are you going to the bathroom?"

"No, I just don't want to hold it anymore. You hold it."

"I don't think I can find room in my purse, girl!"

"Find a place for it, I don't want to hold it anymore! You just take it! I'm gonna go dance!"

This after I grabbed her 1st degree burned face to say hello. I can't believe how much everyone blurred in the room. If I didn't grab her face to look at her I couldn't tell it was her. Later she told me that it hurt so bad she cried. I don't remember. The fact that I don't remember kills me. I owe her a Chai Latte and I don't even remember doing it.

I had asked for water, and Lover Boy said that it was expensive, but I was insistent. I needed water, and he was going to get it for me. I was demanding and rude.