Big Martyr 6

Hubby called me to say that the realtor called him.  She spoke with the buyer's realtor, and apparently he's got his head up his ass.  I'm not sure if he is just new to the whole real estate game, or just an ignoramus who had never been challenged before.  He tried to pull a fast one and said that he had plenty of time to complete his end of the process, and if we didn't like it he would walk with the earnest money.  Our realtor let him know that if he walked from the deal now, we get the earnest money as part of the paperwork that he signed stating that he would have his end of the process done by last Sunday, which he hadn't.  Our realtor thinks that she straightened him out, so hopefully by the 17th I can put in my notice.

Five minutes after I got off the phone with hubby my mother called me.  I'll never know what she called me about, because I told her about the realtor part and that Hubby had moved his flight to exactly a week from today.  She got mad because she had canceled her massage on Sunday to drive him to the airport.  I asked her if she had even asked him if he needed a ride, because he could have gotten it from anyone, or even left early, and there was no need to cancel her plans.  She stated that he had no other way of getting there but her.  When she answers like this, it just means that she didn't talk to him in the first place, just canceled her plans.  She's got a martyr complex that is going to cause us to just get an apartment.  I told hubby to call mom because she was really pissing me off.

Before he could call she sent him a passive aggressive text message: "Wish you had let me know before.  I cancelled my plans for Sunday morning to take you to the airport and made plans for Sunday Afternoon."  Hubby texted her back: "If you had let me know you had made plans I might have.  Besides, it was not necessary for you to cancel those plans in the first place.  I certainly appreciate the fact that you want to help, but I can make other arrangements if you have other things to do.  You don't need to put your life on hold for me.  One of the reasons I wanted to move back was to help you."

Drama drama drama.  I didn't want any of it.  I went downstairs to have breakfast and did some laundry, then later on went to the moves with my friend M, who I'm glad to be hanging out with more.  She's doing a boot camp that got her to lose ten pounds already, so she's doing well.  She says she's not ready to date yet, and I totally understand.  When she is ready, she deserves to have someone special.

G got us the tickets and we thanked him on the way out.  He got me an "Annie" poster and M a" Dumb and Dumber To" poster.  I have no idea what I'm going to do with the poster, but I am excited for the movie.  Big Hero 6 was cute, but there were a lot of plot holes that I had a problem with.  I also feel like all Marvel can do this year is give us adorable characters that (spoiler alert) have a limited vocab and die needlessly.

All I wanted this weekend was some time by myself.  I got granted a week without the hubby, but these past two days had enough contact that sometimes I just want to shut off my phone.  Maybe I can accidentally leave it on airplane mode next weekend.

Intro/Extro

As I was driving home last night Hubby called me.  Again.  I hate talking on the phone, and I had a crap day.  I answered the phone on my bluetooth and asked if anything was wrong.  Nope, he just wanted to talk. 

I called, and I was rude.  I told him that he had just left, and I really didn't want to talk on the phone.  I talked to him that morning.  And the afternoon.  I talked to him more than I ate that day.  I was done.

I apologized to him this morning, but I still feel like I need an alone day.  Thankfully I got it (for the most part) today.  I still had a million text messages to answer, but it wasn't that bad.  I'm going to the movies with a friend tomorrow, but that is for the evening.  Until then I plan on just cleaning up the house and not leaving.  I did plenty of shopping today to feel like I got out and saw the world.  I made a whole meal by myself for myself while listening to a podcast about depression.  It actually explained a lot of what I've gone through in my life, as well as just yesterday.  I wasn't a big fan of the podcast in general (the first half hour is pretty much all commercials), but they way they spoke about mental illness was very accurate.  It made me feel a little less alone.

Grow UP!

Our realtor sent an email to the new lenders asking them to basically get a move on as the deadline has already passed.  I'm slowly dying with each freaking day that passes this week.

Hubby texted me like 18 times on the way to work.  Maybe not that many, but enough to get me aggravated because he knew I was driving to work and on the phone with my mother.  When I tried to call him back my mother called me again, and I got super stressed out before I even walked into work.  My first day of alone time didn't afford me any actual down/alone time.

I did manage to journal a little this morning which did make me feel better at the time, until I read a little of it.  My current journal has lasted a long time, I started it in 2000.  It spans my whole relationship and marriage.  It was all the same kind of struggles that I have today, and it worried me a little.  Had I not evolved at all?

Then I realized that my journal was just the place where I went to when I was feeling low, or depressed, or angry.  It was just the same things that pissed me off, made me sad or depressed.  It still worried me.  Had I not evolved?

It still worries me hours later.  I certainly had grown up, I'm very much not the person I was in 2000.  I'm not even remotely as boy crazy, but I guess that comes with marriage.  My sex drive is far higher for sure, and I'm not complaining about that.

Sink Back Into the Ocean

In honor of NaNoWriMo, I'm going to write out this month like a novel.

***

Hubby left around noon, only she didn't really want him to leave this time.  He got a speeding ticket in the middle of nowhere, so that was another $115 that she didn't have in the hole.  She understood that it was just bad timing (he was going 35 in a 25), but she was still so angry with him.  She tried to keep it to herself and tracked his road trip through the iPhone location details.

When he texted that he got home safe, a wave of loneliness swept over here, along with a little relief.  It wasn't that she didn't love him, but being alone was so refreshing.  She thought of all the things she was going to be able to get done.  She wanted to move all the existing boxes to the garage now that his car was out.  She so needed something to feel real about this move.  She hadn't heard back from her friend at the cell phone company, and it was starting to make her nervous.  She really needed that job, now more than ever.

At work she decided to catch up on "The Affair" since she had only seen the first episode.  It had a title sequence with a Fiona Apple song now, and it felt appropriate.  She felt bad for Pacey getting cheated on.

Much like Gotham, she was having a hard time with this show in regards to motive.  She didn't see why these two were attracted to each other (let alone why their stories didn't match), or why Jim Gordon stayed in Gotham for no reason other than his family is from there.  If her family was from Gotham she wouldn't want to go back for them or any other reason.

***

I'm sucking at this 3rd person BS.  It was a tough 11 days, but I'm going to stop tomorrow.

Waiting for Godot

In honor of NaNoWriMo, I'm going to write out this month like a novel.

***

Hubby had managed to give himself a cold sore. A few days ago he had an unfortunate experience with a razor in an intimate area, so he wasn't having a great week.  She felt bad letting him leave on an 8 hour road trip tomorrow feeling terrible.

Their realtor said that she wasn't comfortable with her putting in her two weeks until the underwriter had come back.  They didn't answer her messages today, but hopefully they would call back tomorrow.

The two weeks notice was sitting in her draft folder, waiting to be sent.  Her fingers itched to send it anyway, but she decided to wait.  Soon it would be way too late for Thanksgiving in her hometown.  She feared she was getting fixated and not paying attention at work.

This waiting thing was killing her.

Hold Tight A Little Longer...

In honor of NaNoWriMo, I'm going to write out this month like a novel.

***

She had been a fun good friend until recently.  Then the texting became...argumentative.  R also had an autoimmune disease, so she made many excuses for the sudden turn in their friendship.  She'd be gone soon anyway and it wouldn't matter anymore. 

Before she even had a chance to write it, the realtor called and said to hold off on her 2 week notice until tomorrow.  She was a little sad, because that would mean that she would have to go to a meeting that she really didn't want to go to.  She sighed, resigned to the fact that she'd have to sit through another boring meeting.  At least she wouldn't be dealing with her day to day tasks on her last days.

Hubby had decided to go back up to her mother's house to drop off his car tomorrow and fly back at the end of the week.  Of course, this last minute plan didn't end up working out perfectly, as the flights were just as expensive as it was to rent a car and drive back.  He said he would decide tomorrow what the best course of action would be.  It was all too much for her to deal with right now.

Time to start her rough draft of her 2 weeks notice.

If This Is It, Please Tell Me So

In honor of NaNoWriMo, I'm going to write out this month like a novel.

***

Today was the last day the buyers could back out without penalty, so the whole day was met with trepidation. Her thoughts all day consisted of the two week notice she would write and send out the next day.  She thought about what would happen after she sent it out.  Would they just show her the door and say forget about the last two weeks?  That would be money that she wouldn't have anymore.  Would she come into work on Monday and her badge would not scan?

Or would they allow her to work her two weeks without question?  What if the buyers backed out anyway and she was left without a job?  She thought of Thursday and meeting up with a college friend who had said he could possibly get her a job at a highly regarded cell phone company.  She had sent off her resume to him today and hadn't heard back yet, but he was just getting back to Alaska after a week long trip to her city.  She didn't want to get her hopes up, but she really wanted this job.  It was a perfect next step and she felt she could really flourish in it.

She needed to set that aside for now and decided on the perfect words for her notice.  It was going to be a delicate balance of words. 

And let the chips fall where they may.